Awkward Conversations with My Priest

As Nicky pointed out this afternoon, I haven't updated in quite a while. Life plods along and as the wedding is still very far away, things happen rather sporadically. One thing that had to be taken care of, though, was reserving a reception site. To get one we needed an official date. To get an official date we needed to reserve the church. To reserve the church we needed to have an awkward conversation with my priest.

This chain of events is normal, but meeting with the priest was difficult. He consistently wouldn't answer his office phone, so ultimately I called his cell phone. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a hard time reconciling present day technology with Catholicism. Especially when the church's hold music is Gregorian chanting...

The meeting with Fr. Greg went quickly and relatively painlessly. As I'm Catholic and Jay isn't, we had to apply for special dispensation from the diocese in order to marry. I had to sign the form stating that I would remain Catholic and raise our children as Catholics (which is technically true). I also found out that hiding an inability to have sex or produce children is grounds for annulment (this really, really bothers me). That's when things got awkward. Fr. Greg explained that in the paperwork, sex is known as the "marriage act." He then asked us if there would be any difficulty in performing the "marriage act." I'm fairly certain that there is no correct answer to this question. I did have to sign the paper saying that it wouldn't be a problem, though.

After Fr. Greg gave us our homework, he had us fill out the FOCCUS inventory. The next time we see him, he'll go over our results. As soon as Jay and I met up after filling out the inventory we shared a look.

"You know what we need to talk about?"

"Money."

"Yeah."

Taking the inventory has inspired me to look into other premarital preparations. I'm confident that my church's prep will be helpful, but I'm a hands-on control enthusiast. I bought us a book (10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do") and at some point, Jay and I are going to a personal finance seminar.

With all this premarital planning has come a lot of arguments. Jay and I don't suddenly have more problems, but we suddenly want to work through the problems we do have. This week, we've had at least three conversations that began with "This has been bothering me for a while, and I want to work on it before we're really stressed out by wedding planning."

Seeing Fr. Greg made marriage seem much more real. Jay is giddy to start planning and preparing for our life together, which gives me the patience to get through the nitty-gritty of planning a wedding.

The Rest of March

Ah, it's been a while since I was here. As glad as I was that Jay proposed, he did choose to do so during some of my busiest weeks last quarter. While Jay stayed with me, I was frantically preparing for finals. "Oh my gosh, we're getting hitched!" Katie does not get along well with "I really need to ace this final in order to proceed in my program!" Katie. Overall, it leads to "I love you, but for Pete's sake, play the PSP with headphones! And please make me a sandwich!" Katie. My fiance puts up with so much.

Coming home for spring break was great. My mom came to get me (as I am not allowed to drive the "death wagon" outside a one and a half hour radius surrounding Athens) and I introduced her to O'Betty's. We took the long way home, winding along the Ohio River. On the way, we talked about the overall "vision" Jay and I have for the wedding: relatively small and elegant, but quirky. My guiding philosophy is something my mom said to me in passing several years ago,

"Try to have an element of whimsy in everything you do."

Spring break was fairly relaxing. My first day back was Jay's mother's birthday. I spent most of the day at their house, talking with Peg and playing with my nephew. Once Jay got home for dinner, Peg asked to have family pictures taken. So now, Jay and I have an informal engagement photo of sorts.

For the rest of the week...I slept. And watched some TV. In my defense, I did read the first two Harry Potter books for my thesis research. My laziness was punctuated by bouts of wedding planning. It blows my mind how early we have to start--the wedding is over a year away, and already my favorite venue is booked. For the entire month. Watching that happen has put me in panic mode, made worse by the fact that I'm now back in Athens (and must rely on others to drive four hours to pick me up. Damn you, death wagon!). For instance, we really want to set the date so we can book a venue for the reception. In order to set a date at the church, Jay and I have to meet with the pastor and be "approved." Said pastor is out of town until April 20. Also, if I can't get back to Youngstown, I may have to just Skype with Jay and the pastor. I wonder if that "counts?"