Awkward Conversations with My Priest

As Nicky pointed out this afternoon, I haven't updated in quite a while. Life plods along and as the wedding is still very far away, things happen rather sporadically. One thing that had to be taken care of, though, was reserving a reception site. To get one we needed an official date. To get an official date we needed to reserve the church. To reserve the church we needed to have an awkward conversation with my priest.

This chain of events is normal, but meeting with the priest was difficult. He consistently wouldn't answer his office phone, so ultimately I called his cell phone. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a hard time reconciling present day technology with Catholicism. Especially when the church's hold music is Gregorian chanting...

The meeting with Fr. Greg went quickly and relatively painlessly. As I'm Catholic and Jay isn't, we had to apply for special dispensation from the diocese in order to marry. I had to sign the form stating that I would remain Catholic and raise our children as Catholics (which is technically true). I also found out that hiding an inability to have sex or produce children is grounds for annulment (this really, really bothers me). That's when things got awkward. Fr. Greg explained that in the paperwork, sex is known as the "marriage act." He then asked us if there would be any difficulty in performing the "marriage act." I'm fairly certain that there is no correct answer to this question. I did have to sign the paper saying that it wouldn't be a problem, though.

After Fr. Greg gave us our homework, he had us fill out the FOCCUS inventory. The next time we see him, he'll go over our results. As soon as Jay and I met up after filling out the inventory we shared a look.

"You know what we need to talk about?"

"Money."

"Yeah."

Taking the inventory has inspired me to look into other premarital preparations. I'm confident that my church's prep will be helpful, but I'm a hands-on control enthusiast. I bought us a book (10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do") and at some point, Jay and I are going to a personal finance seminar.

With all this premarital planning has come a lot of arguments. Jay and I don't suddenly have more problems, but we suddenly want to work through the problems we do have. This week, we've had at least three conversations that began with "This has been bothering me for a while, and I want to work on it before we're really stressed out by wedding planning."

Seeing Fr. Greg made marriage seem much more real. Jay is giddy to start planning and preparing for our life together, which gives me the patience to get through the nitty-gritty of planning a wedding.