Taking on the WIC

WIC: "Wedding Industrial Complex," the hodgepodge of companies dedicated to selling you your "perfect day."

As I'm writing at work, I don't really have time to take on the whole of my feelings of the WIC. Suffice it to say (for now), that a lot of companies give me the impression that the process is more about planning a one-day event (which must be perfect, or you/your mom/your wedding planner suck) rather than preparing for a lifetime commitment.

So far, I've tried to be pragmatic. I spend a lot of time thinking about this one-day (really, one-weekend) event, and how I want to make it meaningful and memorable. But, I spend about as much time planning for our future--looking for jobs in areas where Jay can get combat experience, signing up for premarital classes, borrowing books about personal finance from the library. And, of course, day dreaming about coming home to my little house and my new husband (maybe even with dinner waiting...).

So, when we bought my dress at David's Bridal, Chrissy said to me,

"Now the hard part is over. It's kind of sad, though, because there's not really anything else to look forward to."

Really? Really?

Looking beside the fact that I am SUPER PUMPED for cake tastings, what about the fact that I'm getting married? That Jay will be my husband? That I will spend my life with someone who brings out the best in me? I'm looking forward to those things.

Obviously, Chrissy didn't mean to ignore/belittle these things, and I don't hold it against her. I just find that this is my problem with the WIC in general: it places far too much importance on the wedding and overlooks the sole reason for it.

Saying Yes to My Dress

With the Treasured Moments Stand Out fresh in our minds, Mom, Emily, and I drove out to David's Bridal to see our other number one choice, Dress #2.

I was impressed by how well we were treated there, even though we were a walk-in on an extremely busy Saturday.

While we waited for Chrissy to finish with her appointment, they cleared a room for us and let Emily try on bridesmaid dresses.

We really liked this one, but the price was a little steep. Mom and I want to make sure that my bridesmaids can afford to be my bridesmaids.

Once I put on the dress, they let me walk around the store. It was really amazing to see the train behind me.

Then I had "the moment" that I was waiting for. This whole time, I've been waiting for that "OMG I'M A BRIDE!" moment when I put on a dress. I never really had it.

But, wearing this dress, I imagined walking down the aisle with my parents. I imagined standing next to Jay at the altar and dancing with him at the reception. In that dress, I felt happy and beautiful, and very much like myself.

So we said yes to Dress #2 from David's Bridal.

Dress Shopping Round 3: Treasured Moments

Today, Mom, Emily, and I went to Treasured Moments, the bridal salon where got my senior prom dress (also, Mom knows the owner). I love this shop--the staff is extremely friendly and professional. Unfortunately, I wasn't wild about their stock. It seems that, once again, what I want isn't the latest "thing" with designers. We also got the impression that we'd done too much shopping--all the dresses were starting to blend together.

There was one stand out, however:

Final Score: Tie between David's Bridal #2 and the Treasured Moments Stand Out (Alfred Angelo coming in third).

Dress Shopping Round 2: Alfred Angelo

After the great trip to David's Bridal on Monday, I was really excited to go to Alfred Angelo. For whatever reason, though, I didn't like the store or its dresses nearly as much. The dresser was incredibly awkward and the dresses there weren't really my style. Tons of satin and tulle and not nearly enough lace.

Emily worked hard to keep me entertained, though:

One dress I did like, though, reminded me of my Aunt Michelle's wedding dress. Well, the neckline, anyway.

I did find one dress that I did really like:

So, as it stands, Dress 2 from David’s Bridal is still my top choice, with the Alfred Angelo dress coming in at second.

Dress Shopping Round 1: David's Bridal

As my mother is leaving for vacation in a week, she and I are trying to fit in several bridal appointments before she leaves. Tonight, we started with David's Bridal and brought Emily along for the fun.

Honestly, I didn't expect much from DB. Their dresses tend to be a little cookie-cutter for my taste, and I've heard negative feedback about the company as a whole. Still, it seemed like as good a place as any to start. And I was pleasantly surprised!

The only other time I've been to a bridal salon (Prom 2006), I dressed myself with my mom's assistance. I felt incredibly awkward repeatedly dressing and undressing in front of Chrissy, my salesperson. I haven't been dressed by someone else since I was a child, so that part of the experience was very surreal.

Dress #1 was beautiful, but wasn't really great for my body:

Dress #2 was gorgeous. I loved it--didn't want to take it off!

Dress #3 was also a contender:

Dress # ...I forget...was incredibly heavy. So much beading!

Finally, Chrissy asked me to rank my top three choices. I was really excited to put on my first choice, Dress #2!

While the seamstress showed my mom how we could bustle the train, I asked Emily to snap this:

Seeing my engagement ring against the lace made me feel like a real, live bride. And yes, I'm wearing black fingernail polish.

Stayed tuned because we have two more appointments before Mom leaves for Canada. Plus, we're going to get out her dress when my grandparents are in town this weekend!

Wedding Guest Reflections

Yesterday, Jay and I were lucky enough to see one of my closest friends marry the love of her life. The ceremony was beautiful, the reception fun, and I inevitably started comparing my own plans to hers. Oops...way to stay in the moment....

What I found was, while I would've made different aesthetic choices on just about everything, that wasn't important. It was, after all, her wedding, and she and her husband looked so happy. When Jay and I get married, I want our guests to be able to see and share in our joy, just as I could yesterday.

And I want my guests to feel relaxed enough to laugh:

Looking back, I felt much the same way at Rus and Heidi's wedding. If I could borrow anything from their day, it would be the connection we felt, as guests, to God's love. Their wedding left me feeling excited for them and reinvigorated in my faith.